Actions speak louder than words.
There was a time, early in my relationship with Alex that I was insecure about making the wrong move, saying the wrong thing, stepping wrong, etc. I was very conscious about “should I call him?”, “why hasn’t he called me back?”, “am I his girlfriend”?
My friend Laura remembers me freaking out on a daily basis and coaching me to just “chill out”.
So much has changed over time. I remember telling him I was falling in love with him, when I did love him, and how much I loved him.
I vividly remember within the first few weeks of our relationship that he admitted making a couple variations of wedding list invites and that he saw us moving in together, getting married and having a family.
I just about fell out of my chair when he made the above declaration. I’ve been much more secure in our relationship since then.
I have always emphasized that trust, loyalty and communication are key components for me and that if I can’t trust him there’s no relationship. Not once have I had to question any of his actions or motives, which is a drastic change from all my other relationships.
We’re dedicated to each other, love one another and trust each other without question. We do our best to communicate well, support one another emotionally and just enjoy each other’s company. Since I travel so much we really value our quality time together.
During my vacation last week Alex started moving stuff into my house one small box a day. That way he would have room for everything and it wouldn’t seem overwhelming to either one of us. The end goal was to have everything moved in around November / December. We’re not rushing anything out of respect to our parents and to one another. It started with laundry last week and all 4 loads of laundry once clean stayed at the house.
When I left Sunday, his box for the day was his laptop. Having brought over one of his two major toys, the only one left was his awesome and large HDTV. The tv moved in Tuesday night. With the toys in the house, Alex is in the house. The rest of his stuff will move in over time but it’s mostly just furniture at this point and we need to rearrange my furniture before he moves his in.
Pretty large actions on Alex’s part – timelines have consciously been moved up and we’re both very happy. Our goal is to still be respectful of our parents and take things slowly although we both know we’re going to end up together. He tells me on a daily basis how he could elope in Vegas tomorrow but he wants to be accepted into my family and out of respect wants to wait a few months to propose. We’ve looked at engagement rings and he knows the style I find interesting.
Life with Alex is just amazing. He’s helpful with house projects, kind, caring and sweet. There are a lot of little things that catch my attention with him that I haven’t had in my past. When I’m tired we both go to bed, even if he’s not tired. He understands my schedule and that sometimes work is work and I can’t control my travel, my delays or my stress level. He’s understanding and supportive. He explains things when I ask, let’s me try things when I request it and treats me well. He’s protective of me but at the same time is understanding of my independence. He also works hard and he has told me that “he wants to make me proud”.
When I met Alex I discussed up front that I wanted kids and that it’s a deal breaker for me to date someone who doesn’t want kids. Alex replied that he had resolved to the fact of possibly never having kids but was choosing to date someone younger for keeping the possibility of having kids someday. Since then he mentions “little ones”, “little Alex’s”, etc. We’ve discussed potential names. His goal is to be married for a little while before having kids and if we can’t have kids of our own, we’ll adopt.
Some pretty large actions this week. He’s picking me up at the airport tonight if my plan is relatively on time. I’m very much looking forward to seeing him. He’s been alone with the cats all week. He’ll claim he doesn’t like them but he and Trouble have a tight bond that I don’t even have with the cat. Trouble followed Alex outside last weekend to see what he was doing. Trouble hasn’t left the house since coming into the house 6 years ago. None of the cats have ever had a desire to go outside. Alex flipped out when he realized Trouble was outside and that I was going to flip out. The cat went right up to Alex and practically jumped into his arms.
