I prefer dealing with mice.

After a nice relaxing ride on my new scooter Saturday I went bouncing up my front stairs to stop dead in my tracks. Where the carpeting peeled back from my concrete stairs was a 4+ foot long bull snake soaking in the warm morning sun.

So I did what all single girls do – I screamed like a girl and ran the opposite direction.

I went running into my minivan hoping to find a phone and a safe haven. I ended up with ripped pants from waste to knee, no phone and no safe haven. Clearly in my eye sight was the snake. He was just enjoying the sunshine and didn’t have any intentions of moving.

Back to my single girl theory and forcing myself to cowboy up, I got out of the car. At the same time my new cleaning lady peaked her head out of my house to verify all was ok. “Everything is fine” I yelled figuring I probably shouldn’t scare off the nice cleaning lady on her first day.

I made a lot of noise to let the snake know that the owner was home and that he was not a welcomed guest.

Then it happened and ever since then I can’t get the Harry Potter-esque image out of my head. The snake decided to leave my front stairs by way of slithering into the crack of my staircase to live (continue living) in my stairs.

Once the snake was safely out of view I forced myself to run into my house. I grabbed my cell phone and called my first line of defense. Unfortunately, I forgot my first line of defense was out of town in California on business but he still answered…

“Dad – help! I have huge snake in my stairs.”

To which he responded –

“Call Animal Control, I’m 2000 miles away.”

Fine, in his defense he was 2000 miles away so for the sake of asking and knowing that he would always back me up, I asked:

“What would you do if you were in town?” I expected him to say I would come running over and relocate (not kill) your awful snake that scared the daylights out of you.

Unfortunately, the answer did not meet my expectations but made me laugh nonetheless, he said:

“I would tell you to call Animal Control. I am scared to death (like you) of snakes and wouldn’t go near it. I hate snakes.”

My hero.

From there I said “Let me talk to mom, she’ll understand (she was so good about the dead mouse in the house only a few months ago)”.

Like a broken record I shouted to my mom about the snake in my stairs and her response was exactly my thoughts:

“I would move out”.

She then went on to comfort me, reminded me I live in the woods (by my choice), that I needed to call animal control and told me I could go stay at their house (or move back in but without the cats).

Onto phone calls to Animal Control in which no one answered – I grabbed the phone book and looked up animal control and called Critter Control. $300 to just come out to the house because it’s Saturday, everything else is extra (snake removal, snake repelliant, inspection of property, etc.).

Long story short and $550 later Critter Control left my house without a snake in hand and an escape path for a one way exit out of my now sealed up front stairs via some kind of contraption.

The snake ended the scooter excitement very quickly but I will post pictures shortly of my new method of relaxation. I love riding my scooter around my neighborhood.